Oprah: After the Show

So I missed the Tom Cruise/Oprah mash up yesterday, but I feel like I got the gist of it when I caught a few clips on The Insider after work. Warning: I'm about to state the obvious- Tom Cruise is crazy. Not crazy like "Tom, you so crazy!" (wow...did I really just write that?) but more like "Mr. Cruise, please insert both arms into the straight jacket and we won't use electroshock therapy on your crazy a**". In short: he's mentally insane. Despite my efforts, defamer sums it up much better than I ever could:
It was like any other hour spent with someone hell-bent on physically expressing their “love”: there is sweating, uncontrollable yelping, wrestling, the liberal abuse of furniture, the twisting of bodies into extremely uncomfortable positions, more wrestling, and moments of seeming forced imprisonment. After it’s all over, you can’t look each other in the eye and there’s an overwhelming urge to collapse in the bottom of a shower in the fetal position, gently rocking yourself into blissful catatonia as icy water washes the whole thing away.
And the final Tom Cruise thing, I promise...Do not attempt to pet the Cruise

A few days/weeks/months ago (I have no sense of time elapsing) I mentioned that I find it hot when two guys kiss. With this being said, is anyone really surprised that I can't wait for Brokeback Mountain? Even though I doubt it will show my sweet Jake G. and Heath Ledger getting it on, the sexual tension alone will be enough to wet my palette.

And the winner for best post title re: Phil Spector's crazy court up do: phil spector's wall of hair (aka why i could not be an impartial juror)...
Runner up: At least he didn't show up in pajamas
*no actual prizes will be given for this contest

Kelly Osbourne: missing the band wagon on hating Britney Spears (pssst...we love her now b/c she's trashy and not afraid to show it):

jj071: Who's the most overrated singer in the industry?

Kelly_Osbourne: Probably Britney Spears!

(note to Kelly: you are not the first person to say this, no exclamation point necessary)

She's also a genuis:

Trashaddict: Hi Kelly! You're in London promoting your new album and I saw you on TV this morning... what is it like being famous?

Kelly_Osbourne: I don't know...it's a hard question to answer... That's like saying, what's it like to have blonde hair!...There's a million answers!!

(For the answer to "what's it like to have blonde hair?" scroll down to bottom of page)

My nominee for the next poet laureate: Eminem
“Mary-Kate and Ashley used to be so wholesome / Now they’re getting older / They’re starting to grow bum bums.”
Bum bums...really Marshall? This will make an easy transition to Kidz Bop.
R.

*answer: incredible (we would also accept "awesome")